I'm Under Attack And I Need Your Prayers !

Folks, I suppose it's stubborn pride that's prevented me from asking you for something I desperately need. Or perhaps it's been a fear of rejection. Maybe it's been a fear that it would make me look weak or crazy or that it might hurt the credibility of what I'm trying to do. But I'm crying out to you for your help. I need your prayers.

Folks, you wouldn't believe what's been going on inside of me. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Back when I started doing these podcasts years ago, it was so much fun!! It seemed like they would just pour out of me without any effort. I couldn't wait to get online and just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk and get everything recorded and online as fast as possible. But now, there's an invisible "something" that's blocked the way. It's not God closing a door. It's something else. And it's driving me mad.

There's always something that gets in the way. If it isn't a spiritual distraction that requires me to forsake Founding Word and devote myself to prayer (which is always beneficial to me, but not for you who's waiting for the next session of Founding Word), then it's an emotional distraction that weighs down my heart until I get it under control through prayer or a redirection of thinking. When it isn't spiritual or emotional, then it becomes a physical circumstantial distraction where the technology isn't working, or there are personal disruptions of solitude, or weird time management problems, or allergies that keep my voice from clearly speaking. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but my voice has been a little raspy the past few weeks and it keeps getting worse. I quit smoking cigarettes 7 years ago. Where's this coming from?

I've been meaning to ask you for your prayers for some time now but I kept putting it off. I didn't want to sound weak and whiny or worse...insane! But I suppose that was the wrong way to look at things. So many ministries have no problem asking for money to the point of sounding like they're begging for it, (which I hate), so why can't I ask you for your prayers?

I'm asking for your prayers because money can't fix what's stopping me from producing more content. When Founding Word was just a hobby, it ran smoothly. It was a breeze! Everyone approved and enjoyed what I was doing. But ever since I responded to God's call 5 years ago to go full-time with Founding Word, certain family members and friends that I loved and took for granted abandoned me for reasons I still don't understand. It hurts and it never stops hurting. In these past 5 years, it's been one catastrophe after another. People have died! Remaining friends who haven't excommunicated me from their holy presence or who haven't died, have had their own lives uprooted and destroyed!!

But I tell myself, "This is just the way life is. You're growing older, Josh and you're experiencing what all adults have to go through. People die. People change. Some families stay together. Some families don't. As a Christian, expect persecution. This is normal." So I cry about it, give it to the Lord in prayer, receive His perspective on what's going on, and move forward. And when I put it out of my mind and move forward, things are OK for a day or two. But then everything else starts working together to stop a project for Founding Word before it even begins. And it's gotten so much worse after returning to produce new content in recent weeks. It's been one thing after another slowing me down.

A few weeks ago when I decided to go ahead full steam and produce weekly podcasts like I used to do, it's like I volunteered to run through a mine-field without a map to where the mines are! I'm getting my ass kicked!! I might look OK in person, and I might even sound OK in the podcasts, but spiritually and emotionally, I'm in a million pieces all over the battle field. My blood is all over the place. It's spiritual warfare like I'm not used to engaging in.

At first, I thought there was something wrong with my Spiritual Armor and I just needed to be more devoted to my personal prayer time. But by the time I've patched up my armor and I'm ready to get back to Founding Word, there's no more time left! I spent it all in prayer!!

I've heard it taught so often that Christians can't face the Christian life alone. They need each other's prayers to face life's battles. They need each other to back them up in this war. I've also heard it taught that this is especially needed for pastors. I've heard pastors and Bible teachers say without shame that if they didn't have people they knew praying for them, they don't know how they ever could have made it. Dr. Chuck Missler, or maybe it was Charles Stanley I believe it was, who once said they used to have a whole team of people praying in another room during the giving of every sermon. If that's what's needed, no wonder I'm falling apart! I don't have anything like that!

I certainly need YOUR prayers because by volunteering to do Founding Word, I volunteered to move to the front lines of battle and I'm not covered with the prayer I need. It's like there's a revolving door of obstacles that keep getting in the way!! When they aren't physical obstacles such as intrusions of solitude or demands of household responsibilities or allergies making it difficult to speak clearly, then it's emotional obstacles such as second guessing how my voice sounds, getting addicted to facebook scrolling through the timeline aimlessly looking for approval and affirmation, or feelings of unfulfilled longings, or a weird feeling of insanity. That's not like me!!!! This isn't who I am!!!! This isn't anything like me at all!!

It's strange and very frustrating. You wouldn't believe the wide variety of things that slow me down or keep getting in my way to produce a simple, short little 30 minute Bible study. I used to breeze thru these with a sense of excitement and adventure. But now, Satan has taken all of the fun out of it. It's a chore! It's a drudgery! It's a challenge! And it's not the work that's no longer fun, it's not the work that's a challenging drudgery, what's making it a chore and a drudgery is having to fight all these various distractions that won't let up!! When they aren't internal distractions, they're external. When they aren't external, then the internal distractions return! And it goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth!! And it's wearing me out! This used to be a walk in the park for me, but now it's like every single step in the park, there's something underneath my feet that trips me up or slows me down or blows up in my face or misdirects my steps! And it's constant!! Continual!! Distraction!! Harassment!!

The only good news is that I haven't resorted to fear yet. At least, I don't think it's come to that. Although, I do remember one day for unknown reasons having a sudden and irrational fear of losing my family to an accident. It came and lasted for a day and went away as fast as it came. But that's one day I lost that I could have been producing material! The next day, it was something else. It's been like this for awhile and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Folks, I remember hearing a story from a certain minister who was involved with a church in California that was destroyed by witchcraft. It was a thriving church filled with good folks for many, many years. But like most Christians these days, they didn't know how to fight against spiritual warfare. Someone broke into their church early in the morning and cast a spell in the basement of the building with candles, a sacrificed dove and a pentagram written on the ground. Nobody found who did it. But the candles, the dove and the pentagram were cleaned up, thrown away and nothing else was said about it. No prayers of defense were prayed, the congregation wasn't alerted to what happened so that they could pray, everyone just dropped it and thought, "Those dern kids and their crazy superstitions. Oh well, boys will be boys." Well, in less than a year after that event, members of the church became gravely ill, others had financial problems, many of the married couples went through painful divorces, their minister died of a heart attack and the congregation went through a huge scandalous break-up. So a small group of people who knew how to engage in spiritual warfare (for the darkside) took out a church.

I'm not sure if that's what's going on with me and Founding Word, but when my daily web-analysis reports show me that posts about the Armor of God, posts about fighting against demonic activity and posts about stopping sleep paralysis are getting hundreds and hundreds of hits specifically from people in Salem, Massachusetts, specifically from people in England, or specifically from people in Germany, hundreds and hundreds of hits... I can't help but wonder if their isn't someone or a group of someones engaging in warfare against me and Founding Word.

It's spiritual warfare like I've never faced and my own prayers don't seem to be enough. I need YOUR prayers! Please!! Please pray for me, because I need them! Don't read this post and send me a bunch of money!! Please don't do that. That's not going to do anything for me. That's not going to stop what I'm facing. I need your SPIRITUAL SUPPORT!!

If you would do me this favor and just devote 60 seconds out of every day to pray for me and Founding Word, it doesn't have to be super-powerful or elaborate. Just say,
"Lord, there's this guy on the internet who teaches his own little Bible studies and You've accomplished something in my life through those studies. And Lord, he's being attacked and Satan must be kicking his butt because he actually reached out and asked people to pray for him so he could teach further studies. I don't know what's going on, he sounds a little crazy to me. But if he's representing You faithfully and if You're really using him through what he's thrown together online, Lord, would you intervene on his behalf and my behalf since I enjoy his studies and would you wipe up the floor with all the demons and harassing agents that are screwing with his head and getting in his way? Please Lord, in the name of Jesus, Amen."
I would greatly appreciate this. If you benefit from these studies, if they mean anything to you, would you please do me the honor of praying for me and this ministry every single time it crosses your mind? When it's close to Saturday and you know it's time for another Bible study to be released, think of me and pray for me. If you're someone who's normally committed to prayer, put me and Founding Word on your list. I need it desperately.

UPDATE: Keep Praying ! It's Working !