Keep Praying ! It's Working !

On May the 5th, I published this blog post crying out to you for your prayers! Since then, you've sent me such encouragement and spiritual support that I'm overwhelmed. I can't thank you enough. But what's amazing to me is what God has done with those prayers. I realize now what was going on. It was a combination of several things.

First of all, it was just as I said originally that I genuinely needed people praying for me if I'm to be serious about going full time with Founding Word. I can't do it without your prayers. As I said in my blog post, I was being attacked day and night and when they weren't internal torments, those torments manifested themselves in the physical, visible realm of impossible schedule conflicts and chaotic distractions. The clock was moving too fast and the day was filled with too many obstacles. My praying to get through it all wasn't enough, I needed your prayers in agreement with mine to break through the darkness.

But upon our collective prayers, God also defeated a severe and fatal lapse in spiritual judgment that I had adopted without even realizing it. I can't believe I fell for it. I had allowed myself, by accident, to loosen my commitment for private intimacy with the Lord. I was still praying. I never stopped praying. But what all of us really need in our walk with the Lord are those still, quiet, unscheduled moments where we're just silently sitting at Jesus' feet and enjoying the awareness of His presence. Just as Mary did at Jesus' feet while Martha was anxiously burdened by all the things she had decided to do in the name of "serving the Lord". Martha's burden caused her to miss out on serving Jesus in the way He would have preferred over anything else.

I made the exact same mistake Martha was making. Satan had fooled me into thinking I could enjoy intimacy with the Lord and do Founding Word at the same time! As I tried harder and harder to meet my self-imposed deadlines, I kept squeezing those intimate times out because of the urgency of the tasks for the day. What a foolish mistake. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!! I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!

While you guys were praying for me, there was one day that I was driving to one of my commitments and during the drive, I was complaining and crying out to God about how screwed up my life was and how impossible it was to do Founding Word. But as soon as I started complaining about how impossible everything was, I heard that proverbial still small voice inaudibly say... "Martha... Martha... you are anxious and troubled about many things..." As soon as I heard that, I knew what it meant. I published two study sessions on it here and here! I REALLY should have known better. One of my Facebook friends even scrolled back to those studies which were published several weeks ago and posted a comment underneath them which brought it to my present attention. That was God trying to wake me up and give me the answer to all my problems!! They say doctors make the worst patients. I wonder if Bible teachers make the worst students when God is trying to teach us something? I am one hard-headed individual.

I was desperately thirsty for simple, private intimacy with the Lord without any strings attached for anything other than to praise Him and silently sit in His presence. So I got somewhere and just said, "OK. I have nothing to ask for, just want to spend time with You because I know I need it. I've messed this up and it's been too long. I just want to appreciate You for what You've already done, for what You're already committed to do, the secured future that I know I have in You, all the things You're already worthy of praise for, to just sit at Your feet and delight myself in the Lord." As I continued to speak in terms of personal intimacy without any strings attached to requests or questions, it's like I could feel a massive hole in my soul being filled to the full of something I hadn't felt in a long time. It's like He was waiting for me that morning. He just poured into me everything I needed, everything I had been without for so long. I had been running on EMPTY and was trying to fight the devil all by myself. How stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!!! But I say stupid, with a smile on my face. The greatest and most freeing lessons God teaches us are often those lessons we look back on and think, "I made this so hard, but God made this so easy! What the ____ was I thinking?"

Last week, after re-prioritizing my personal time with the Lord, I began to push forward with the next installment of the Founding Word podcast. But this time, it was as though God had taken over the clock and slowed it down (almost like He did for another Joshua once upon a time) and therefore I found myself being able to make ALL OF MY COMMITMENTS and simultaneously have all the time that I needed to create new content for Founding Word AND enjoy time for personal recreation AND that badly needed alone time with Jesus. All of it! The external commitments didn't slow down, they were as pressing and as numerous as ever. But this time, I somehow managed to get it all done without it infringing upon Founding Word. It was amazing. But that's not all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I published the latest podcast for Founding Word, I felt uncertain about it's quality. I was concerned that I had been repetitive, that I talked too fast, that I might have been too "East Texas" in my delivery, that I might have gone too far in some places and not far enough in others, but something in me knew that was all just a demonic ruse to slow me down. I had been praying through the entire process so I gave it to the Lord and published the final project. I hadn't listened to it until TODAY!! And folks!! I am AMAZED at what I heard this morning. It's as though, someone else was doing that podcast. Those of you who prayed and continued praying for me should listen to the final result of this latest podcast. Your prayers made it possible. Your prayers, along with my re-prioritizing my intimacy with the Lord, pushed this study through to it's completion. But getting it finished isn't all that those prayers accomplished. I listened to the final results this morning and my mouth dropped to the bottom of the floor!! I can't believe that was MY VOICE saying everything in that podcast!! Our prayers together, got the right interpretation of what I was studying and communicated exactly what needed to be said on to that MP3 file! Even the tone of voice and the inflection of boldness when it was needed seemed to be perfect! And I know it wasn't me, my intelligence or my talent! It was God!

If you haven't listened to this latest study session, you need to listen to it now! I just listened to it all the way through for the first time and IT'S NOT ME. It's as though someone else was doing this study. It doesn't sound anything like the study I was recording. I mean, it's the same words that I spoke, the same notes I was prepared to share, but somehow, it just sounds different (in a good way) than the one I thought I had published on Saturday. There is SO MUCH in this one study session that transcends what I was able to summarize in the subject description. It covers OUR REWARDS TO COME, it covers GOD'S FAITHFULNESS IN HIS PROMISES, it covers PROPHECY, it covers GOD'S RELEASE FROM LEGALISTIC BONDAGE!. I'm blown away by what I just listened to. And YOUR PRAYERS HELPED to make this study session possible! If you haven't listened to this yet, please do it now. Satan did a lot to prevent this study from being released. It's out there now!

Folks, I can't believe how afraid I was to share with you my burdens and needs for prayer on May 5th. I'm so glad I reached out to you for prayer because, your prayers have humbled me and lifted me up, all at the same time. Founding Word was placed back where it belongs, in God's Hands. Thank you so much for your prayers! I love ya!! Keep praying!! It's working!!

5/28/17 UPDATE:
Posted on my Facebook wall.

By the way folks, I can't thank you enough for your prayers. I've felt their effects. I really have. On top of recommitting to intimate time with the Lord, listen to all this other stuff I've received since I straightened that out.

I've discovered excellent new tools to help with Founding Word in the sound of the audio, the ability to transcribe it into text for the blog (maybe) and several other options that will make the work a lot easier. I've also discovered new ways to limit distractions. That's the great news.


Here's the bad news that I'm a bit disappointed about. But I hope you'll understand. I never should have committed to cranking out a fresh new study session each and every Saturday. That and that alone is mostly responsible for turning what I loved to do into a chore. I had a self-imposed deadline that I had to meet and an hourly check-off list to keep up with my pace. What a horrible thing to do. That put the work of the Holy Spirit on a leash and why in the world would I want to do that? Some sessions are easier than others, but the material and doctrine I'm getting into now is pretty deep stuff and requires more prep time than usual. How arrogant to think I could zoom thru this stuff on my schedule?

So folks, I'm not gonna be able to keep up with publishing a new study session every week like I wanted, BUT I'll get them out to you as fast as I can make them. I'm not slowing down on this, I'm not going on a hiatus. I'm just releasing myself from the self-imposed weekly deadline.


Here's something NEW I've discovered in the process of the last study session that I thought was kind of fun. I really enjoyed the interactive nature of how Session 47 was completed. As I was doing it, I needed your prayers, first of all and I said so. And when you began praying, I gave you updates. Then as you continuing praying, I discovered some new things for the next study and I shared them with you as I discovered them. And then we went back and forth chewing on it. That was fun!! How would you like to get little bits and pieces of the study in progress? What do you think?