Well, I'm Back

I don't even know where to begin except to say that I've missed you all and I'm happy to be back. I've had so much difficulty writing this post because I don't know where to begin or how much I should share. How on earth do I summarize the last 5 years? I'd love to tell you everything but it would be a waste of time for me to write it and an even bigger waste of time for you to read it. I can get pretty long-winded.

The bottom line is simply that unavoidable circumstances and priorities tore me away from Founding Word, from blogging and even an online presence on social media. When I say it tore me away, I mean it tore me away kicking and screaming. I was deeply engaged in what I felt was my purpose in life and then suddenly, things went into a direction I never could have predicted. I kept seeing it as a coordinated attack from the enemy, but it was always the Lord who kept insisting that it was HE who was behind this unavoidable detour.

It seemed that everything I had ever learned or believed as a Christian was being put to the test. Would I practice what I preached? Would I trust the Lord? Would I wait for His timing? If I really believed what I was sharing with people online, then how would I respond to this impossible situation? I prayed for it to go away, but it wouldn't go away.

Before I completely disappeared, I realized that I wasn't the only one going through something like this. Reading many of your comments and posts at Facebook, Twitter and YouTube seemed to imply that a lot of us were being hit extremely hard with intense trials, much more intense than usual. It's as if we were all being given some FINAL EXAM before being let out for the summer.

I must apologize for the way I left. I never intended to just silently disappear without so much as a goodbye. So many of you reached out and asked what was going on and I tried to share it with some of you. But the situation was too detailed and complex to explain and I just got tired of trying to explain it, especially since all the Lord would do is refer me to Proverbs 3:5-6 when I asked Him to explain it to me. I expected the Lord to get me back out there much sooner than He did and so I never felt it necessary to make some big public statement about leaving.

Then in 2019, I suffered a tragic loss that was extremely painful. You know how grief can be, it makes you feel like nobody else in all the world has ever felt what you're going through or could ever understand your loss or even care about it. The last thing I wanted to do was devalue the relationship I was grieving by sharing my loss with people who wouldn't understand or even care. I certainly didn't want to read hundreds of those generic "sorry for your loss" responses. I was going through all the stages of grief and so I just turned it all off and walked away to focus on where the Lord wanted me to be until further notice.

In 2020, a job involving animal care and rescue fell into my lap that no one else would do and it had to be done. There was no way out of it. It required heavy lifting, lots of cleaning, lots of standing, lots of walking, lots of crawling and occasional back-breaking work. It also required lots and lots of praying. Prayer was the most important thing I did each and every day. For the first 21 months, the job was 7 days a week without weekends or holidays. It was also emotionally draining because of the love and care that was required. It also required an hour on the road every day.

In 2021, I began having health problems starting with a kidney stone which lodged itself in my ureter requiring emergency surgery. After that, I developed a swollen lymph node from Cat Scratch Fever and an intense episode of food poisoning. I can't remember which happened first but a strong antibiotic took care of everything. After that, I began having severe tooth and jaw pain which led to the removal of all of my teeth. After that, my jaw pain intensified with pressure and pain in my ears, eyes, neck and head with extremely loud ringing in the ears, dizziness and nausea. I had to take a muscle relaxer for a couple of months to settle it down. After that, my eyes started to hurt and eventually hemorrhaged and I was diagnosed and treated for Dry Eye Syndrome. After that, something strange happened to my right knee which led to being bound to a wheelchair for 4 months. Then I was diagnosed with some digestive problem which limited me to what they call a low-FODMAP diet. All of this between 2021 and 2024. I never caught Covid. I caught everything else, but I never caught Covid. I kept remembering the book of Job. While I never felt that I had reached his level of persecution, I could definitely relate to his ordeal. What in the world was going on?

During the pain and anxiety of everything that was happening, it made me hold onto the Lord and surrender to Him in a way that nothing else could. It was amazing. Right before the worst of my health issues, the Lord intervened and made my job less demanding so that I could endure those health problems which followed. As of today I'm still toothless, my ears still ring whenever the Barometric Pressure drops, my knee still hurts every now and then and I'm still having to stick to that low-FODMAP diet, but I'm walking, I'm eating, I'm hearing and I'm seeing. I've survived and mostly recovered from everything else that's happened. My mother stepped up and proved once again that she's probably the greatest blessing in my life next to the Cross itself. No man on this earth deserves a mother like the one I've been blessed to have. I've also been blessed with the love and support from two very wonderful people and amazing friends from overseas who have kept me in their prayers continually and have always been there when I needed someone to talk to no matter the time difference between us.

In the midst of all these trials, I've learned a great deal that I'm very excited and anxious to share, some of which impacts all of us. ALL OF US!! I've been nagging the Lord for a long time for His permission to let me back on here. In recent weeks, He's finally given me the clearance that it's OK to come back. So I've been busy getting things in order behind the scenes. I've updated both websites to make them more mobile friendly. I've updated the notes under each podcast at Founding Word and YouTube to make them easier to follow. I was very angered to learn that YouTube is now airing commercials on my channel, even though I've never monetized it. Apparently, there's nothing I can do about it. So anything you want to hear without YouTube's stupid and untimely commercial interruptions, you can get it at my blog or Founding Word.

Lord willing, I'll be posting articles and headlines as quickly as I can at the blog, Facebook, Twitter and on my YouTube Channel's Community Tab. I won't be returning to the podcast just yet, I'm gonna stick to writing for now. Time is short. There's a lot to cover. I hope I can get it out there in time.